Musings

Lily will be 13 months in 4 days.

I am going ot be really honest here and say I feel a little disappointed now that her 1st birthday has passed. All of her "first" holidays have passed. I guess it just seems like she has grown up so much already, and I am so nostalgic for the times that have already passed. I want to go back and relive every single moment. I feel like time is just moving faster and faster, and I have found myself looking back at pictures from when she was really tiny a lot more lately. I think my disappointment revolves around the fact that so many important moments in her life are behind us already.

At the same time, I feel like I might be a little bit crazy. There's a lot more to come, so shouldn't I just be looking forward to all of that? I guess that's what it's like to be a parent for me - always so bittersweet. Every milestone brings both pride and then a sadness that she has grown up just that much more.

As someone who thought she'd never have a child, I think I hold onto every moment a little bit tighter than I would have otherwise.

I still feel like she was born just yesterday. I find myself as obsessively in love with her as the day I met her.

And I wonder - will the constant urge to snuggle her ever go away? Cause that may be a little odd when she is a teenager :) Does it ever get easier to say goodbye to her at preschool? I think more and more often I daydream about leaving work to pick her up and go play all day. I think the working mother thing is actually getting harder for me.

But, no matter what the circumstances are - she lights up our lives. And our circumstances are actually pretty fantastic - we are enjoying our new lives in this southwest Florida paradise.

A couple pictures from the other morning: